Tsc Tempest
a brief autobiography about religion, community and leadership
[A submission requirement for Universal Ministries, Doctor's Degree Submission.]
I am a priest of the Tetroidian Faith, but I haven't always been so. In the next few lines I would like to share with you, briefly, my own religious experiences, how they have influenced my community involvements, and leadership experiences, thus leading me to where I am today.
I was born, in Australia, into an agnostic family, of mixed migrant origins. My grandparents were from Catholic Russian families, and due to support and assistance from the congregation at Holy Name, in Preston, Melbourne, I and my siblings were baptized late in to the Roman Catholic Faith. My first crisis of faith caused me to renounce and abandon,The Church, after which I explored the Presbyterian and Methodist faiths but could find no solace, so I slowly drifted away.
At this early stage in my life, my family was quite poor. We lived on charity, food vouchers, clothes from opportunity shops, my mum even stalked the lanes of Victoria Market scavenging vegetable greens discarded after the market had closed.
At school I was treated as an outcast by many children, shunned, chased to and from school, bullied, was beaten in the head with a shovel during a horticultural class, and frequently accused of being too smart for my height. In later years, my isolation intensified. My tertiary studies were filled with darkness, deep depression, and misery. I was surrounded by people with whom I could share absolutely nothing.
I searched for something, anything that might bring me into the light. I dabbled with New Age philosophies, which brought me some small way forward, became a Reiki Practitioner, and even lead a Harvest Festival as a, kind of, White Druid. But I stumbled hard into my second spiritual crisis plunging deep into a mental construct of Christian Hell.
But in that pit of dank despair, I discovered something, something stirred deep inside in the depths of my depression and loneliness, a kernel of self-worth. Slowly I came back, progressed, improved and, through a couple of sessions of Regression Therapy I became reacquainted with four deeply personal messages.
Step by tentative step my world began to change. Through my writings, the sharing of my poetry with others, people began to welcome me in, inviting me to join their activities, and I experienced a sense of community I'd not known before. And yet I continued to search, still as yet not quite whole.
I joined a Pentecostal community in Morwell, and one day, they hosted the first national Convention of ministers for that year, to which I and other members of the community were invited to attend. I ran, in tears, from this congregation of a thousand people in rapture, speaking in tongues... I had heard a voice, powerful, concerned, strong, compelling, it was everywhere and nowhere, perhaps it was all in my head, somewhere. It spoke directly to me and asked, "Why are you still here?, You don't belong here..." Spiritual crisis number three.
Loneliness descended and again took its firm grip on me. then I discovered the soothing words of Baha'ullah. Again I hoped, I became part of a community, participating, and even taught sport at a weekend school for Baha'i kids. But my affliction was still with me, crisis of faith number four - I could not reconcile the teachings of the Baha'i faith with my own deeply spiritual experiences and the advice did not require an act of faith but the blind rejection of everything I knew to be, personally, true.
Thus, I found myself washed up on the bank of the River of Life with no way back into the water but, The Guardian within, told me that I knew the way, the Divine Design was known to me and to go forth and share it. not everyone can flow in the river, some must needs find their own path, across the spiritual landscape.
I eventually met a girl, got engaged and dis-engaged. I was shattered and for a number of years spiraled downwards and out of control. I then joined up with The Forum undergoing several of their workshops somewhat mean of spirit and increasingly leader-egocentric. If you were not a leader, your role was to serve, without question, and to ponder what was said, also without question. I left Australia looking for a new beginning and for many years I drifted from one teaching job to another, throughout China.
In that time I was exposed to Buddhism, Taoism, Confucianism, and... Maoism.but what made the biggest impact on me was peoples absolute desire to make money, anyway they could, at any cost. If you were an outsider, there was little recognition or respect. If you were on the inside, obedience and duty were all that mattered. The confucian ethic was intimately ingrained in the lives of the people, but the people could no longer explain why it was so.
however, this time of reflection in a foreign land allowed me to slowly crystalize my own beliefs, thoughts and feelings. To clarify just what resonated in me, clearly and without question, as to The Guardian's Will. To reach a sense of wholeness, self-acceptance and personal understanding that I didn't have before.
My past religious experiences and crises of faith underlie my progressive personal development, and my eventual acceptance into, and of, community.my involvements and interactions have always held an element of nurture, mentoring, coaching, and teaching of others. I found that people began to trust and follow my lead. I slowly became instrumental in starting new community groups and clubs, and my work led me to become an instructor, teacher trainer, and Director of Studies.
The difficulties in my life and my personal religious experiences are marked by four spiritual crises. These have shaped my views of the world and led me to explore and share the Tetroidian Worldview. A view that resonates in and through me. I have become its priest, an advocate of its values, teacher of its principles, and protector of the faith.
November 17, 2004 TT
